Breaking Down Common Advice: Be Yourself!

Pop quiz! What's the most common piece of advice people give? 

Be Yourself!

Which we all know is sometimes easier said than done.

There are so many people who need so many things from us. How can we show up as who they need us to be, and show up as who we want to be at the same time?

There are so many people who seem to be doing better than us. What if we just took some notes from them? Surely if I follow them to the letter, I will be fulfilled and happy!

    But it's a myth, y'all. Adulting is hard and confusing and none of us actually knows what we are doing. Those people who have it all together? There are two important things to remember: A) they feel sadness, stress and overwhelm. They are not immune to the negative emotions of life. It's just not pretty enough to put on social media. And B) those people worked for YEARS on being their best selves. They did not wake up one day and flip a switch. They worked. They read, they studied, and they found out the keys to their self.

Susie Moore, a life coach whose content I adore, has very valuable advice on how to be yourself. I'm borrowing her points and adding my own spin:

Find out what makes you happy.

    One of my favorite phrases is "Well, I've definitely learned what I don't like!" I've moved through a crazy amount of seasons and jobs that sounded like the perfect fit but turned out to not be quite right for me. I'm still working on figuring out what makes me happy, but here's a short list of what I have found so far: I like running (slowly), reading (mostly fiction with predictable story lines), slow mornings (which is why I wake up at 5 am), and freshly whipped cream (I will totally baby bird it straight out of the can if I can't whip it up fresh with my KitchenAid, though).

    Finding out what makes you happy like takes effort. It can also be completely different than what you thought it was going to be. Life has a super fun habit of taking your plan and changing it on you. And that's not a bad thing! You don't have to stick with something just because it's what you thought you would do for the rest of your life. Don't make yourself miserable to fulfill someone else's (who could be your former self!) prophesy for you. There's so much growth in moving through a season that you thought would be your answer only to be find out that it's not quite what you thought it was. Embrace it. Take in the good, and examine the parts that didn't work for you, and find out how to fix them.

    Revel in the journey, friend. The things that make you happy are not one big item or experience, but instead a collection of moments, feelings and experiences that bring you joy continuously. Look back at my list - does it include my career on there? One big identifying factor that defines me as a person? Nope, sure don't. Because I'm not defined by one label. And neither are you. I'm a whipped cream eating, cheap book reading, early rising, slow runner. And I embrace that and all the other things that make up me.

  
    And when you do find what makes you happy, prioritize it. Guard it fiercely. Stake your flag and defend your territory! Those things are sacred. They are you, and as you learn them, love them. Accept them and protect them. They will serve you well.

Take the tips, not the total.

    Inspiration is everywhere. In your friends, your family, the influencers you follow on social media, the celebrities you see on TV. And they all tell you the same things, but with their own special spin. Heck, that's what I'm doing right now! My hope is that someone manages to say the arrangement of words that makes the most sense to your unique brain. Now, as the ultimate big sister type, I want you to heed my every word and follow it to the letter. It's the control freak in me. I'm working on it. Because the fact of the matter is that I don't know your life. No one does but you. 

    

    You can't just follow that Insta fitness model's workout routine if you cannot do a single full range push-up. But you can listen when she tell you that you should choose foods that are nutrient dense and will keep you full.
    

    Maybe you can't afford to take quarterly vacations to decompress from everyday life. That's just how it is. Don't let your Facebook friend's cruise posts get you down. Do listen up when she shares her budget sheet and shows you how she managed her money to afford that week-long dream vacay.
   

     Do you see what I'm getting at? There are ways to learn from those you respect without being envious. There are ways to apply every lesson to your life. Learn to filter out what serves you, and leave the rest.

No one else is you, and that is your power.

You can only be you. Which means no one else can be you, either. You matter. I need you to hear me on that:

You matter.

So incredibly much, and in ways you will never realize. You are valuable, loved, and wanted.

Your unique point of view can show others how to love more deeply.

Your incredible laugh can show others how to have fun when life gets hard.

Your hard work will make a difference in the lives of people you will never meet.

If you're spending any amount of time trying to be anyone but your amazing, wonderful self, stop it. We need you. And we need you exactly as you are.

And friends, you are worthy and capable of achieving your wildest dreams.